Ryan hottie Gosling is a womanizing playboy in the movie, Crazy, Stupid Love. He wears sunglasses in dark places and body skimming suits. Night after night he plays the game and takes the woman home. His favorite line: “You wanna get out of here?”
But he meets a sweet girl who’s not impressed by his macho suaveness. Through a series of events they end up in bed, but spend the night talking instead of having sex. He falls asleep sharing, uncharacteristically, intimate details about his family, fears, and dreams. The next morning he wakes up with an apparent personality transplant.
Suddenly he stops objectifying women. He’s no longer on the prowl. “This one’s a game changer,” he tells his friend.
Now that he has the real deal he no longer has the desire to sleep around. Miraculously, he doesn’t have a problem with wandering eyes. He says all the things any woman would want to hear, but this time he really means it. He’s in LOVE. And love changes everything.
I’ve seen this miraculous conversion in more than one recent movie. This is the stuff of chick flicks because this is what we want to believe. We want to be the one — the game changer.
The movie doesn’t show the inevitable fallout that comes from a lifestyle of self gratification (yes, even after the “big change”). We don’t see the tears caused by habitual self centeredness or witness the struggle against pride that has been practiced to perfection.
Of course not. it’s only a movie. Everyone knows people don’t change overnight. When the philanderer turns faithful, the cad morphs into Mr. Nice Guy, we know it’s just a movie, the stuff of wishful thinking and fairy tales. Or do we?
How many women commit to bad boys, even ones who tell us straight out, I’m never going to change? How many women accept aloofness and flimsy excuses? How many insist on seeing the good even when it’s not there, who keep making excuses and blaming themselves?
How many keep checking their phones for calls that never come? Or trade their best years waiting and hoping for commitment, for change? This is crazy, stupid love.
Yes, people can, and do change. Falling in love can give you a new perspective, and God’s redemptive love transforms. He is the ultimate game changer. And if you’re married, this truth is an anchor of hope.
But it’s still hard work. If you’re single it’s worth counting the cost. Frogs don’t turn into princes overnight, no matter how passionate, pure, or spectacular the kiss.